While we're on the subject of definitions

While we're on the subject of definitions, let me air one of my favorite gripes, the difference between prescriptive and descriptive dictionaries.

English is a language without a ruling Committee (The General Commission, I think). If you attempt to add a word to the French language, you might arouse the ire of The Committee and have your choice of words anathematized. Okay, that's being harsh. They might have issued a statement declaring the word unmutual and suggested a proper substitute that good Frenchmen ought to have used.

We have no such authority. Long ago we brought in words we stole from other languages (usually when they invaded) and then made them our own. Once they were ours, we had our way with them. "Ha! take that, word! you no longer represent a talisman but you are a character quality!"

If you are not acquainted with the OED, you should run, not walk, to their website (http://www.oed.com/) and introduce yourself. It is a huge work that took decades to compile and the publishers (Oxford University Press) are putting out updates all the time. You can subscribe but at twenty huge, hardbound volumes, the subscription is expensive ($295 per year) so you might consider purchasing the thing. Most families can't afford that and don't have the room for the twenty volumes so you might consider purchasing the compact version, two volumes slipcased with a magnifying glass included. At the very least you can look at it in your local public library.

Or you can do the sensible thing and get it on disk for your computer. At about $35 it's a bargain.

Here's what it is: If you look up a word you'll find it defined, and under the definition will be a number of sentences or partial sentences arranged chronologically from earliest to most recent that contain that word. These sentences were pulled from English writings and usually show by context what the writer meant in the use of that word. To me it's fun to see how the word changed spelling and meaning over the centuries since the word first appeared in writing. Some words didn't change, and that's fun too.

So the OED is a descriptive dictionary. It describes how the word is used by a lot of people.

There are dictionaries that do what your grammar school teacher tried to do, tell you that a certain word does and ought to mean. A "bicycle" is not a "dog", and regardless of how many people choose to make the mistake of saying "bicycle" when a furry mammal wags its tail at them and barks for Kibbles and Bits, it will never be "correct". That has a lot to do with the origin of the word, which was coined in 1868 by a fellow who stole two word parts from Greek and felt very scholarly because of it. Greek "bi-" is "two" and then add Greek "kyklos" for "wheel or circle". Dogs do not have two wheels unless a high-priced vet rigs them up in a pair.

Who cares? What's the big deal? Yes, that is the attitude a descriptive dictionary takes: If enough people make the same mistake (and call that furry mammal a "bicycle") then we'll just report it as "that's what it is."

How could you and I ever communicate that way? You'd say you lost your bicycle and ask me to help you look for it, and I would be utterly useless in the search because I'd be looking for something completely different from the thing you had lost.

That's where descriptive dictionaries come in.

The descriptive dictionary will tell you how the word OUGHT to be used, regardless how many people misuse it or substitute some other, similar-sounding word. And the way our society is so badly undereducated, mistaken usages or word confusion will still happen at a high rate. But the true champions of our language, the prescriptive dictionaries, will bear the standard before us and keep our eyes on the proper use of our poor, abused language. Bicycles, at least for a few more years, are not to be suspected of growing fur.